Thursday, September 4, 2008

Why My Friend is (Jokingly) Voting Democrat...

This hilarious piece was sent to me by a friend and it's the first thing of its kind that I have ever thought to pass on to someone else. Enjoy!

Sorry if anyone is disappointed in my decision but I have decided to vote Democrat this year. Here are some of the reasons I found it compelling:

1. I'm voting Democrat because: I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

2. I'm voting Democrat because: Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

3. I'm voting Democrat because: When we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

4. I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that people who CAN'T tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

5. I'm voting Democrat because: I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

6. I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest to the government for redistribution as the "democrats" see fit.

7. I'm voting Democrat because: I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

8. I'm voting Democrat because: I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% is perfectly fine.

9. I'm voting Democrat because: I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry a horse.

1 comment:

USpace said...

LOL! Funny stuff, I had to link it. Thanks!

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never mock Democrats

it's just their religion